jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize