From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
