I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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