Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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