Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
