He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize