New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
