How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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