me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
