just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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