Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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