When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize