Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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