I can't watch pbs sober anymore
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
