with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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