Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
