I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Non-Jews are for practice
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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