Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
