I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
