Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
