Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
