Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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