Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
