I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
