Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
that is very illegal...i love you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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