I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
