thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
