She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
