It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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