i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
