Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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