Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
