i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
