I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
