one might say we're banned from that church
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
