So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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