he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
