i was born a porn star she said
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
