Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
