apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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