Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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