If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
