so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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