i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
