i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize