If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
