Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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