what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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