You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
