I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
