her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
