Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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