conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
