Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
