That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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