"it" just moved
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
