Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
