Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
