Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
