So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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