Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
